I’ve got a crush on someone. It’s been a while since I’ve had one like this. Sure, there has been the occasional guy who’s made me look twice, given me that extra pep in my step.
But this? This is ridiculous.
Before I see him, I tell myself to calm down, to keep it together. But when I hear his voice? It’s all over. We have this amazing rapport. It’s like we’re old friends. And when he looks at me …
And before you suggest that I make a move on this guy, there’s a reason I haven’t. No, he’s not married — I’m not trying to break up someone’s relationship. But there is a valid reason.
Is he interested in me? I don’t know. I definitely think he finds me attractive, but I’m not sure if the thought of something more has crossed his mind. Sometimes I definitely think so, but then I worry that I’m seeing things through the fog of my lust, which softens the edges of every interaction.
The other night, I was so lost in thought from thinking about him that I put a pot holder in the trash can instead of the bin on the shelf. I didn’t realize it until the next day, when I went to throw something away and there it was, sitting up top and gloating.
I don’t know how much longer I’ll get to be in his company, but until I’m not, I’m going to enjoy this feeling. The thrill, the giddiness. It’s been a long time.
* * *
In other news, I’m feeling pretty well. Mom Week 2011 was a success. I kept things fairly low-key, and that helped a lot with my stress level. (You can’t get stressed over planning if you don’t plan anything.) My health is OK. My neck stuff flared up again recently, but I’m seeing a chiropractor and that seems to be helping. And it’s helping the lower back stuff, thankfully. The last injection has started wearing off (already!), so I picked a good time to go get help. I’m not 100 percent, but I do feel better.
Work is work. No complaints there. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m thankful as I always am for having a job. I haven’t had any freelance work in a while, but that’s OK.
I’ve been sewing. I recently made something so cute that when I took it to work to show it off, a coworker offered to pay me to do one for her. So I’ve been working on that. I’m definitely more at peace when I’m creating something. And I’m thinking about taking an art class in November that will be taught by a woman I met at the beach birthday bash in May. She’ll be teaching a workshop about an hour away, so I’m going to try to take advantage of that opportunity.
For now, though, I’m going to bed, where I’ll fall asleep thinking of my crush.
